a letter to vmt

Hey, i don't know why i wanna say this now. Actually i wanna leave this all unsaid forever but i just can't. now that you heard me say it. It's been a while since the first time i thought i felt something about you. Not as i had thought before that i would never fall for my friend's ex. Hahahahaha. It's been about 1 year and half since i realized it. Do you remember when we went to the studio where i made a video with my band?? no, i haven't felt it. but it was not long after that when you finally made a relationship with your boyfriend now. i remember it was at CK when i heard about that for the first time. i didn't know how to explain it in the right way but i just know i was a kind of brokenhearted to hear that. Funny?? I think so. You didn't even tell me about that. Hahahahhaha. I never thought i would say this kind of things.
Hey, do you recognize the changes of my face when someone talks about your boyfriend with you?? Yes, mostly i'm jealous to hear that. It's not like i'm always jealous but most of time i am. Do you remember when you brought your boyfriend to watch the concert of GS and you introduced me to him?? I'm glad it was dark or you could have seen my jealous face. Do you remember when you cried about your family affair when your father got mad at your brother?? I was there but you wished someone else had been there  instead, your boyfriend. I wished i could have meant more than him to you. Do you remember when you had a fight with your boyfriend and talked about what he did, about how he could misunderstand you? i thought i could be a better boy for you then, but maybe i was wrong. I have so many bad habits that you know and you don't know that you don't like. Hahahahaha.
Now i will say this truthfully, do you remember when a friend of ours asked me if i had a feeling about you and i said yes? Actually i really wanted to say that yes, i do have feeling about you. I care about you, i want you to be happy no-matter what, i care about what you do.
And I hope this will be the last paragraph i will write here. If you ever read this, i wanna say that i care about you more than you know, and obviously more than i can say. And i think i have to end this now cuz i have missed my chance to say this to you. I don't wanna ruin your relationship (like i can, hahahha). I don't expect to be your boyfriend. it's enough to see you happy with anyone you enjoy with. ALLAH's plan is the best and the most beautiful. And at last, i wanna say i think i love you. Yes, i do. And don't tell anyone else cuz i don't even have a courage to tell you. I love you more than you can think. Thank you for everything and good bye. Have a nice life.

a man doesn't use words to express his love

Let us forget the memory we’ve got about these 4 years

Maybe you don’t need to, but I absolutely do

Life can’t keep moving on this blooming way

Cuz I can’t find any-reason to put it inside my mind

How can I not say anything after these days?

I even missed the last chance to tell you how this goes on

How can we not confess the feeling inside our heart?

But I probably mistake it, seems that I always misunderstand

If only people always said how they feel

If only people gave more signs to express

Maybe I’d have found out and given up all along

Or lived the days with a better mood of the heart

Then I realized that ifs are not the solution to solve this

So I leave all this unsaid and finish it

Now it’s over, but why does this seem to be a burden?

I’m giving up now with a little cool excuse

That a man doesn’t use words to express his love

-blew

1 of 5

It’s funny when you get old that you forget the names

It’s strange that you can still live though you careless

You can’t live on your own, depend on someone else

The devil whispered you something but you even forget what it was

It’s funny when you’re no-longer young that you have lost your touch

The wisdom you’ve learned from life bloody disappears

You’re just such an arse, don’t even know who you are

Bad intentions you had even just went cuz you forget them

Today you can’t even be grateful that you should have been

Wasting the youth means less than nothing and you didn’t believe it..

We spend the youth just once, do anything without thinking

A bad motto of life for a bad ending

BFDF: GOD's Existence

story made by my friend, Elizabeth Ket (Anna)

ini adalah cerita yang ditulis oleh teman saya yang bernama Elizabeth Ket (Anna). Sangat suram, menurut saya terlalu emo bahkan untuk anak-anak emo itu sendiri. Padahal orangnya sangat menarik kalo diajak ngobrol. Yah silahkan dibaca aja. Hahahahhahahahhahaha...

Dear Diary,
I don't really know what to say to myself. I appear to be so happy and cheerful, but I'm Lonely. I'm Alone. I feel like no one can hear my silent cries. My cries of help are all in my writings. They are running through the words i write. Only If someone could help me. I feel like im a lost soul and if im not helped, I will kill myself. I used to look at knifes and buildings and wish my death. Recently, I have promised myself I wouldn't dare to cut myself again, but it becomes hard sometimes. I feel like i want to share everything with just one person, but It's so hard! I just couldn't. I need professional help. I don't give a damn about telling anyone anymore... I just want HELP.

I wake up, about to get ready for school, but i hesitate of the idea of having to get up to face reality. Reality was something i just couldn't face. Reality.. well let's say if i faced it... I might just try to end it. I seem so strong, but im just weak. I just head out to school without breakfast, what was the point of breakfast anyway?

My usually friend shout towards me, greet me, and we chat away about our weekends. What weekend? I did nothing. BUT that was no problem i was so absorbed about their weekends The problem with me is I don't give that much of a damn about others, but i try to. Here was my attempt second period:

"Hey Dylan, Get your ass over here" I screamed across the hall.

" Man Shutup, Your loud"

" Sorry, I can't help it. Bad habits.."

"SO what's up?? Did you actually do any of your homework?" He sighs.

"Well let's see. I tried then fell asleep..." I crack up laughing with him.

" Yeah something came up so you know i couldn't exactly do it" He said and looked down.

"Really? What happened? You ok?" I said worryingly.

I didn't actually CARE.. but it was my dream someone would care for me like that

" I'll tell you later via internet" He said with a smirk, waves, then runs off.
OR NEVER much?

Dear Diary,
Most people think im a girl by the way i talk at first, but in reality IM A GUY. This guy has a diary, yes he does. i don't mind though. Anyway the next day, Dylan's ass didn't come to school which really pissed me off. I don't know why, but he was clearly hiding something. I hate secrets even though i have about 30-40 of them. I'm just used to not telling others about me... bad habits, i tell you.

In the middle of my english class, the topic of "who's better, females or males?" came up. Everyone excepting me to side with the females, which i did because their logic made so much more sense. The sad part was i was the only guy on the female side until my friend lost a coin toss and had to come to to my side. Yeah, I'm Evil that way.

"Will, whose side are you on? Get the hell over here, your not a girl," Bob screamed at me with frustration. He was right i wasn't a girl, but this was a pretty nice way to get them.

" I'm just on the side i agree with, don't siding with genders and just go with what you believe bob... with what you believe you can achieve." I said like some spokesman and that's when he got really pissed.

"DA FUCK is wrong with YA? Wanna kiss my ass, faggot?" He said with a smirk.

"Happily, just bring it here and ill kiss that sexy ass away" I said winking. After this, Everyone including BOB cracked up laughing.
Let's make this clear. I really am not gay. Perhaps i'm not even interested in either gender. Maybe animals then? They do seem like my type, don't ya think?

dan

Dunia ini penuh dengan ketidak pastian. Tak ada yang benar-benar tau apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan. Dan itulah yang membuat dunia ini menarik, paling tidak hal itu yang saya pikirkan. Tapi terkadang hal itu juga sangat menyebalkan, karena kita juga jadi harus pernah menyesali yang terjadi dan tindakan-tindakan kita.

                Pagi itu Dzikri mendengar kabar dari ibunya bahwa sepupunya Syahdan masuk rumah sakit dan keadaannya kritis.

                “De, Syahdan masuk rumah sakit. Coba kamu jenguk, rumah sakitnya deket kampus kamu ko. Lumayan parah katanya.” Kata Ibunya Dzikri.

                “Owh ya? Iya nanti insya ALLAH saya kesana.” Jawab Dzikri.

                Pagi-pagi itu Dzikri sebelum kuliah berencana pergi ke kantor polisi dulu untuk menanyakan tentang surat izin kegiatan yang dia dan teman-temannya akan selenggarakan. Dia berangkat bersama dengan temannya Vidia. Hari itu Vidia menangis krena ada sedikit masalah keluarga yang menimpanya. Dzikri hanya bisa mendengarkan karena Dzikri tak tau apa yang harus dilakukan ketika ada seseorang menangis di dekatnya.

                Sesampainya di kantor polisi, Dzikri masuk ke kantor bagian perizinan sedangkan Vidia menunggu di luar.

                “Pa, gimana surat rekomendasi buat ke Polrestabes itu? Apa sudah jadi?” Tanya Dzikri.

                “Entarlah, disininya lagi sibuk. Kapolseknya mau ganti, jadi ga akan bisa keluar sekarang-sekarang. Tenang aja, pasti keluar ko.” Jawab Polisi itu.

                Selalu begitu. Polisi itu kadang sangat aneh, ketika kita menyampaikan permintaan surat izin jauh-jauh hari, mereka menyuruh kita tenang dan terus menunda-nundanya, tapi jika kita mengajukannya dekat dengan hari H, mereka justru marah-marah. Aneh.

                Karena waktu untuk masuk kuliah masih cukup lama, Dzikri pun mengajak Vidia ke rumah sakit untuk menjengukk Syahdan. Dzikri mengajak kesana sekalian agar Vidia dapat sedikit melupaka masalahnya. Vidia pun setuju dan mereka pun pergi bersama ke rumah sakit itu.

                Setibanya di rumah sakit, mereka masuk ke ruangan tempat Syahdan dirawat. Mereka harus menggunakan masker dan baju yang disiapkan rumah sakit sebelum masuk agar tidak tertular dan agar tidak membawa debu kotor dari luar.

                “Kenapa dan? Hahaha.” Tanya Dzikri sambil bercanda.

                “Ga tau. Saya juga ga inget.” Jawab Syahdan.

                “Kemarin dia parah banget. Jadi was-was sama khawatir. Tapi sekarang udah mendingan untungnya.” Ibunya Syahdan menjelaskan. “Malah sekarang udah bisa protes tentang makanan rumah sakit. Ga enak katanya, pengen nasi Padang aja katanya. Hahahaha.”

                “Hahahaha.” Mereka pun tertawa.

                Setelah beberapa lama mereka ngobrol, Dzikri dan Vidia pun pamit dan meninggalkan rumah sakit itu. Setelah mengantar Vidia sarapan bubur, mereka pun langsung pergi ke kampus.

***

Kira-kira dua minggu setelah Dzikri menjenguk Syahdan, Dzikri dan ibunya mengunjungi rumah Syahdan di daerah Bumi Asri, Bandung. Ketika itu Syahdan tampak sedang tidak ada kerjaan. Dzikri mengajaknya ngobrol, dan mereka membicarakan tentang gitar. Setelah beberapa lama Dzikri dan ibunya pun kembali pulang.

Dua hari setelah itu, Syahdan mengirim sms ke Dzikri menanyakan tentang software-software untuk recording. Ternyata kesehatan Syahdan sudah pulih sekarang. Dia sudah mampu beraktifitas seperti biasa.

***

                Dzikri sedang bercanda sambil menonton film di kostan Kiki bersama beberapa temannya ketika sms dari ibunya sampai di hpnya.

                ‘De, Syahdan meninggal.’

                Sms itu sangat singkat tapi sangat mengejutkan, membuat pusing, membuay segalanya jadi serba aneh. Bagaimana mungkin? Tapi itu benar-benar terjadi.

                See you in heaven Dan. Insya ALLAH.

Green Day - one of my lies

ini adalah e-mail yang gagal dikirimkan. Saya sangat menyukai lagu ini, karena itu saya sangat menyayangkan ketika chords yang dibagikan salah. Semoga anda menikmatinya.

hi, my name is Dzikri Hasan BFDF, i'm writing this e-mail to say that i think the chords you shared on tabs.ultimate-guitar.com in one of my lies song by Green Day isn't correct. now i'm sending the one i think right. hope you'll consider it. thank you.

Intro:
Db,Ab,Gb,F,Gb,Ab

Verse:

Db          Ab                     Bb              F
When I was younger I thought the world circled around me
       
       Gb         Db             Ab
But in time I realized I was wrong

Db           Ab                         Bb                F
My immortal thoughts turned into just dreams of a dead future

Gb               Db            Ab
It was a tragic case of my reality


Bridge:


Gb                       Ab
Do you think you're indestructable

Gb                    Ab
And no one can touch you

Gb                     Ab
Well I think you're disposeable

Gb                           Ab
And it's time you knew the truth


Chorus:                           


                           Db Bb Ab
Cause it's just one of my lies

                                   Db Bb Ab
Well, its just its just one of my lies

                                Db Bb Ab
And all I wanna do is get real high

                                   Db Bb Ab
Well, its just its just one of my lies


Verse:


Db           Ab                  Bb                   F
Why does my life have to be so small, yet death is forever 

Gb                       Db                Ab
And does forever have a life to call its own

Db                Ab                     Bb                 Fb
Don't give me an answer cause you only know as much as I know

Gb                             Db                   Ab                 
Unless you're been there once well I hardly think so


Bridge:


Gb                       Ab
Do you think you're indestructable

Gb                    Ab
And no one can touch you

Gb                     Ab
Well I think you're disposeable

Gb                           Ab
And it's time you knew the truth


Chorus:                           


                           Db Bb Ab
Cause it's just one of my lies

                                   Db Bb Ab
Well, its just its just one of my lies

                                Db Bb Ab
And all I wanna do is get real high

                                   Db Bb Ab
Well, its just its just one of my lies






Gb-Ab                  
  I used to pray at night
Gb-Ab
  Before I lay myself down
Gb-Ab
  My mother said it was right

Gb-Ab                         Db Bb Ab
  Her mother said it too...Why?

Db Bb Ab
Db Bb Ab
Db Bb Ab

Back to Intro, palm mute & strum hard:

Db,Ab,Gb,F,Gb,Ab