a letter to vmt

Hey, i don't know why i wanna say this now. Actually i wanna leave this all unsaid forever but i just can't. now that you heard me say it. It's been a while since the first time i thought i felt something about you. Not as i had thought before that i would never fall for my friend's ex. Hahahahaha. It's been about 1 year and half since i realized it. Do you remember when we went to the studio where i made a video with my band?? no, i haven't felt it. but it was not long after that when you finally made a relationship with your boyfriend now. i remember it was at CK when i heard about that for the first time. i didn't know how to explain it in the right way but i just know i was a kind of brokenhearted to hear that. Funny?? I think so. You didn't even tell me about that. Hahahahhaha. I never thought i would say this kind of things.
Hey, do you recognize the changes of my face when someone talks about your boyfriend with you?? Yes, mostly i'm jealous to hear that. It's not like i'm always jealous but most of time i am. Do you remember when you brought your boyfriend to watch the concert of GS and you introduced me to him?? I'm glad it was dark or you could have seen my jealous face. Do you remember when you cried about your family affair when your father got mad at your brother?? I was there but you wished someone else had been there  instead, your boyfriend. I wished i could have meant more than him to you. Do you remember when you had a fight with your boyfriend and talked about what he did, about how he could misunderstand you? i thought i could be a better boy for you then, but maybe i was wrong. I have so many bad habits that you know and you don't know that you don't like. Hahahahaha.
Now i will say this truthfully, do you remember when a friend of ours asked me if i had a feeling about you and i said yes? Actually i really wanted to say that yes, i do have feeling about you. I care about you, i want you to be happy no-matter what, i care about what you do.
And I hope this will be the last paragraph i will write here. If you ever read this, i wanna say that i care about you more than you know, and obviously more than i can say. And i think i have to end this now cuz i have missed my chance to say this to you. I don't wanna ruin your relationship (like i can, hahahha). I don't expect to be your boyfriend. it's enough to see you happy with anyone you enjoy with. ALLAH's plan is the best and the most beautiful. And at last, i wanna say i think i love you. Yes, i do. And don't tell anyone else cuz i don't even have a courage to tell you. I love you more than you can think. Thank you for everything and good bye. Have a nice life.

a man doesn't use words to express his love

Let us forget the memory we’ve got about these 4 years

Maybe you don’t need to, but I absolutely do

Life can’t keep moving on this blooming way

Cuz I can’t find any-reason to put it inside my mind

How can I not say anything after these days?

I even missed the last chance to tell you how this goes on

How can we not confess the feeling inside our heart?

But I probably mistake it, seems that I always misunderstand

If only people always said how they feel

If only people gave more signs to express

Maybe I’d have found out and given up all along

Or lived the days with a better mood of the heart

Then I realized that ifs are not the solution to solve this

So I leave all this unsaid and finish it

Now it’s over, but why does this seem to be a burden?

I’m giving up now with a little cool excuse

That a man doesn’t use words to express his love

-blew

1 of 5

It’s funny when you get old that you forget the names

It’s strange that you can still live though you careless

You can’t live on your own, depend on someone else

The devil whispered you something but you even forget what it was

It’s funny when you’re no-longer young that you have lost your touch

The wisdom you’ve learned from life bloody disappears

You’re just such an arse, don’t even know who you are

Bad intentions you had even just went cuz you forget them

Today you can’t even be grateful that you should have been

Wasting the youth means less than nothing and you didn’t believe it..

We spend the youth just once, do anything without thinking

A bad motto of life for a bad ending